In the spirit of my Moment of Rest Post from yesterday, I did rest a little yesterday. My resting didn’t involve just me. It was a different kind of rest. I came home early from work and decided to take Q to the grocery store. He loves the stroller and E was having her PT session at the house, so it was the perfect time. After chasing him in circles to put his shoes on and subsequently rescuing a candle from being dewaxed by his tiny fingernails, we were on our way.
As we walk, I usually talk to him (and E when she is there), and today we talked about just what a big boy he had become. How he started out as such a tiny little peanut, and how now you would never know he was ever born at just 2 lbs. 15 oz. On Tuesday the minis will be 2 years old. 2 years. We made it.
As we talked, and asked him what we should have for his birthday party (he is leaning toward a Zoo theme, or maybe that’s just me, I mean, hotdogs, sliders, veggies, popcorn, fruit, and cake, how fun is that?) I realized it was Wednesday.
For 7 months, 2 years ago, Wednesdays were my day. Wednesdays were the day where I would count that I t was another week along in my pregnancy. That I could check the baby books and websites to gauge what size the baby’s would be, what features they would be developing that week, and the all important how much longer until we would meet in person.
2 years ago yesterday, I was 27 weeks pregnant.
I would go into labor just 1 week and 2 days later.
The blessings I felt as we walked down the street and sent up a prayer of gratitude for being here, in that moment, walking down the street with Q in his stroller, loving the sunshine and bobbing his head back and forth, back and forth to the invisible music, was a full moment. Full of love, gratitude, and strength with a payoff from 2 years of desperate hope, faith and LOVE.
I don’t think I can, nor will I ever, in words, be able to adequately describe my love for these 2 little ones. For their fight, strength and faith in what they can do, have brought me and KSP along with them in this journey. We find our strength in them. On the tough days they make us smile, and on the good days they make us laugh. And often this happens in the same day.
So on the heels of my “non-traditional” restful moment, I feel re-centered and rested but in a different way. A little bit lighter. A little bit more relieved.
My rest came in the form of feeling the amazing journey we have been on and that we are through some of those proverbial trees and well on our way through the forest. Feeling these feelings gave me just what I needed today to make today ‘mynewfavoriteday.’ We have endured, trusted, hoped, believed, and LOVED beyond all things I ever thought possible, and through all of those times and emotions we have not fallen.
Is there something you are may be holding onto somewhere that you can now let go, just a little piece of to celebrate where you are and the fact that you have made it from where you came? Whether like me you had some version of Postpartum (for you many moms of preemies are likely to go through this but it ends up more PTSD as you try to survive what you are doing through), IVF anxiety, divorce, depression, experience with mental or physical illness or a myriad of other things that affect so many of us or our loved ones in our lives.
Happy ‘newfavoriteday,’ thanks for being with me on this journey and if you are open to it, I am sending you all some of the love, strength and hope that I am feeling today so that it may brighten your day just a little.
P.S. If you are experiencing Postpartum symptoms or want to learn more about this, there is a woman named Katherine Stone who is an expert in Postpartum. Here is a link to her blog http://postpartumprogress.com