“I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you” ~ Ben Folds

Since it’s nighttime and I just put my precious E & Q down to sleep, I want to say thank you to everyone who visited us today and for those who did and felt moved by “Welcome to Holland,” here is what I think E would have said to me before she went to sleep.  Thank you for this HUGE boost today for me and my family but also for everyone else that has been to Holland through their children, parents or friends. It’s a beautiful place to go to, and you can learn to love it there, but you never forget about Italy.  Having people like you all who help us on our journey make it just a little easier, and that’s a lot when you have felt very alone for quite a long time.

In honor of national Autism month, I chose this poem.  I feel that it also represents those little ones that are confined by whatever their syndrome may be, and want to let their parents know, they love them.

Before I Go To Sleep…

Mommy, don’t you cry now and Daddy don’t you weep.

I want to whisper something before I go to sleep.

I know that when I came here I looked perfect in every way.

And you were so proud, Daddy; when you held me on that day.

And Mommy, when you kissed me and wrapped me up so tight,

I knew that I belonged here and everything was right.

But then I stopped talking and began to slip away,

I saw your worried faces as you knelt by me to pray.

And Daddy, I always notice how you wipe away a tear,

When you watch the other children as they run and laugh and cheer.

I may not be able to tell you how much I love you so,

Or even show you how I feel and what I really know.

But when you hold me, Mommy, at night when all is still,

I feel the love you have for me and I know that all is well.

And Daddy, when you take me to the park to run and play

I know that you still love me thought the words I cannot say.

I want to tell you something before I go to sleep.

I may be sort of dirrect and you may not understand,

I know that I am not that little hild that you and Daddy planned.

But I love you both so very much and I know you love me too,

And if I could only speak my heart, you would feel my love for you.

I know the future is unknown and you will always have to be,

The ones who love and listen and take good care of me.

I know that you are frightened and you shed so many tears,

And if I could I’d wipe them dry and take away your fears.

So Mommy, don’t you cry now and Daddy please don’t weep.

I want to say…I love you both, before I go to sleep.

Written by Sally Meyer 2000