AGE, such an interesting concept. Coming off of this weekend, my age has strangely become top of mind. My best guess as to why, starts with the fact that when I am around my best girlfriends, I don’t feel any older than 18. I know we have changed, but as I look at them and myself, I don’t feel like we look THAT much older than we did then (apparently, we are not the best people to judge this and since we were drinking wine, doesn’t everyone look better after a glass or two?:)). Then there is the fact that when you are on a girls trip and you go out in a pack, you end up in a bar laughing and being silly like we were and men like to come see what you are laughing and giggling about. It’s all innocent, but as soon as you tell them why you are there, and how long you have been friends, and then, as soon as you say “since we were little”, that somehow generates the very inappropriate question of “how old are you?”. Often, it seems to be the younger ones that have the courage to ask you such a bold question. The standard answer is, “don’t you know it’s not polite to ask a woman her age?” and of course they press the issue. Finally, in your pack, you give in (there is comfort in numbers, especially when they are relative in your group) and say, 37. They look surprised (perhaps it’s feigned, but they do a good job), and say REALLY? You say, yes, and they say, I wouldn’t have guessed. They then feel inclined to tell you how old they thought you were and that they can’t believe you have kids and a husband. The husband part strikes you as slightly curious being that you are all wearing rings until they say that their age ranges from 22-24. RRRRCCHHHH….what!? 22-24. They are just babies. Suddenly, my 37 year old self that primarily hangs out with others her own age feels old. In the adorable naivete, they tell us stories of their successes and issues with dating and life and then I realize that, wait, I may be 37 but the things they talk about are no longer a mystery, for I know what I would do in so many of those scenarios because I have experienced some version of them. I have lived.
It is not often that I think about my age, and I have really only had one year where I felt a little blue about getting older and strangely that was when I was 31, and apparently one week in August when I was 37. My dad always tells me “life is like a roll of toilet paper, the shorter it becomes the faster it goes”. I always say, time flies, and life is short, and other such cliches, but in this past week, I have felt it. I look at my husband and think, will we have enough time? I look at my babies and am thankful for each moment but can’t believe how quickly they have grown. I look at my friends and think, I still feel 18 but so much wiser. I look in the mirror and notice the fine lines, and the bits that don’t look like they used to, but I also think they don’t look so bad and it’s ok as they speak of the many things I have experienced in life. Great family and friends, good food and drink, sadness to know joy, and joy to understand despair, despair to know hope, fear to know faith and all of it to know love.
So, I suppose that while my 37 year old age will go back to feeling normal as I hang out with people my own age and settle back into my routine, today I am grateful for having lived…I can’t honestly tell you if I will ever feel as if I have lived long enough as there are still so many things I want to do and see but I can tell you that I have lived and for that I am grateful and now more than ever want to make each day ‘mynewfavoriteday’. I hope you will do the same and as you look in the mirror take an extra second to appreciate yourself whatever age you may be for age is not a representation of who you are but how you live. Happy ‘newfavoriteday’.