“Of course if you like your kids, if you love them from the moment they begin, you yourself begin all over again, in them, with them, and so there is something more to the world again.” ~ William Saroyan
Today is a very special day. As they do every year on October 18, our precious minis celebrate their birthday. It is truly difficult for me to believe that it’s been 3 years since all that swirled around us was chaos, fear, sprinkled with the purest form or love I have ever known. The love that you can feel in your bones, the kind that you can feel in your blood if you stop to pay attention, the kind that comes from being a mother. It’s this love that has changed me in more ways that I could have ever predicted or imagined. It’s this love that has made me rise above anything I ever thought I could handle or persevere. It’s love that has given me a different kind of purpose.
As you all know, the past few weeks have been challenging with E’s diagnosis and the need to process, while at the same time not losing sight of the fact that in many ways nothing has changed. The extraordinary love is still in tact. The minis continue to delight and awe us each day. New words, new eye contact, new funny giggles and sentences from Q, new skills for both. All of these things are new, but the love hasn’t changed from the moment we met through a plastic incubator 3 years ago. It’s that love that allows us and more specifically me, to begin each day. To greet each day with what can be and not “what has been” or “what has happened.”
Often it’s the most unexpected and scary things in life that cause us become what we can be. Things we never expected, the people we never expected to become. I am far from where I will end up, but each year on their birthday I am overcome with gratitude that they are here, they made it, they fought to stay with us, and we fought to help them. It’s a true celebration of their “birth day.”
Their birthday also becomes an occasion for me to be ever so grateful to all of our family, friends, doctors, therapists, and teachers who have consistently walked by our side. I have been rather mushy lately, but you all know that we are truly truly grateful from the bottom of our hearts, for while the journey has been one of twists and turns you never left our side. I am not one to ask for help, and yet what became clear is that in many ways I never needed too as you would all just be there, waiting and willing to do whatever you could to help. For 3 years. 3 years of love.
In addition to being their birthday, today, the minis will also graduate from the UCLA Early Intervention Program which will bring its own bittersweet moments. E and Q, but especially E, has thrived with the support and love of these teachers and therapists. We have been ever so lucky to have even had the opportunity to be part of the program so we will take our tears and wrap them up in the love we feel for the teachers, parents and other minis we have met through this amazing program. So again, while today will bring new changes, and new adventures, the love will remain.
So today, I dedicate this post to my Wondertwins. My minis. Who showed me just what it means to know such love that you can’t help yourself, but to begin again, in them . Each and everyday. But today on your birthday, I am grateful for you Q and E. I love you beyond words, space, and time, and that will never ever change. Happy Birthday little bug and precious Angel. Thank you for making each day “mynewfavoriteday.”