This is what I am asking myself right now? Recently, I have been pushing hard, burning the candle at both ends and in the middle and I am tired. Or maybe it’s burned out. As I headed around the blogosphere the past few days to visit other bloggers who I enjoy reading, many of their posts echo of feeling tired, overwhelmed, burnt out. I guess there is comfort in knowing I am not alone and that became oh so much more clear to me this morning.
As you probably know, for you have seen the buttons that linger at the bottom of blog posts, in this bloggy world there are interesting linkups and opportunities to connect with other bloggers. Some of these are in the form of “Writing Prompts/Workshops” and others are more loose and simply involve linking up a favorite post. It’s a lovely way for people to connect, find new blogs and support one another in the vast every-growing blogosphere. I have just recently started doing this, but it’s a commitment. In order to be a good bloggy citizen you have to go around and comment on others blogs which is great for building camaraderie but a little more challenging when it comes to time. One of the notable Writer’s Workshop/Prompts sites is http://www.mamakatslosinit.com. I hadn’t been over to visit too often, but thought this week I would check it out and low and behold, this was the prompt:
Why are you burned out?
As I think about it…I want to be doing all the things I am doing. I often feel like there not enough hours in the day. The most obvious thing that would have to give up if I have to give up something, is this, writing my blog…but that’s not what “I” want. It’s easy to get caught up in the numbers, the comments, the “all important, yet flawed Klout score,” the growing number of likes and followers and subscribers. It can be humbling, frustrating and very exciting as numbers rise and fall daily. Writing is the something that keeps me up. Keeps me from not getting lost in the sea of emotions that are constantly threatening to crash over me. It gives me the perspective I need to be reminded of the good in all of our many blessings.
‘Mynewfavoriteday’ is not just a community for others, it is my lifeline to remind myself to make each day ‘mynewfavoriteday.’
I am competitive by nature. I crave success. Success by my own standards and success by other people’s standards. It’s an on-going battle for me as I try to find the balance and focus on “what’s important.” But I love it all. I can’t deny. I love the connections, the comments, the ever-growing community of people, trying, just like me to make each day ‘anewfavoriteday.’ I can’t give it up.
But then there is my life, the part that has to always win and there has been a lot of change in our lives as of late.
I am transitioning out of my job to start my own consulting company. I have taken on 2 clients already, still fulfilling my current job requirements, and have more potential clients coming down the pipeline. It’s exciting but unnerving.
I am spending more time with the minis as I am committed to being even more involved in E’s therapies. To become a pseudo, speech, occupational, and physical therapist. E’s future depends on it and doing this is the exact reason why I had to make my career decision, to be home more so I could do more.
KSP has changed jobs as well. He is gone earlier and thus we are going for longer hours. Gone are the days of hanging out in bed with the minis each morning as a family. Now, we hit the ground running in the wee hours.
E has made great progress as of late in her own little ways. We hang on to each stride with bated breath, thrilled and wondering when will the next big thing happen. In its own way, this is the hardest part of them all. This is the part where my whole heart rests. Where each step forward and back means everything for her future. Where my energy comes and retreats at the move of a body part.
Maybe I am not burned out…maybe I am just emotionally tired. Maybe having so much change, so quickly, with so much emotional weight tied in brings a feeling of exhaustion. I have not lost sight of how blessed we are. I have not lost sight of all the wonderful things in our lives. If anything, they are that much more clear to me.
As for this blog, writing this post reminds me that I do “THIS” for me. This blog is my outlet. You will forgive me, I hope, if I am not quite as active in my posting. Perhaps 3-4 days a week instead of 5. I hope you will read as often and still comment, but ultimately I am doing this for me. Not to prove anything, but because I do want to spread the message of ‘mynewfavoriteday,’ but it has to start with me.
Thank you for being here, for allowing me to “be” and for making each day ‘anewfavoriteday.’ Do you ever find yourself wondering why you are doing something? Is it for the “right” reasons. Does it make sense for you, your life?
Written from a prompt at
mynewfavoriteday 
Yes, you can be burned out and still be inspired. I too am trying to get out there in the blog world and be a good neighbor but it is a time commitment. Whenever I doubt what I am doing, I ask myself: what is job 1? Answer: complete novel. So I am blogging less and while I try to comment, I don’t worry so much about writing the perfect comment that will impress the “right” people, whoever the heck they are. And gosh, I better get back to chapter 19.
Thank you! I am so glad to hear you say this…I so respect you and am amazed you your ability to be ever-and omni-present! Yes, prioritization is key and I need to work on that a bit more too…and what is with the “right” people I am thinking the “right” people are those that want to create community and are supportive, maybe it’s just right for me instead. Thanks for taking the time…I do so respect and value your opinion, good luck with Chapter 19!
Dear Shannon,
I used to write so that I could make money (Lot’s of it!) so that my checks wouldn’t bounce. While I refuse to say the words, “That ain’t going to happen.”, for to say them gives them a life of their own, I no longer have that thought as my primary motivator. Now I write so that my son will have a way, if he so chooses, of knowing who I was after I die. He is youngish now (35) and his life is full of the living of life, not reflection and contemplation. So I use the forum of blogs and stories and novels and screenplays to weave the tapestry that he will come to see was the place that he came from and a hint of where he is headed. The shift has made me a better writer. I am patient to a fault and think long term now, and not of being on Letterman.
You should take to heart the fact that your work is well crafted and speaks to many readers of the trials and tribulations of life and love and that it is, in and of itself, worth the writing. I hope you never stop.
Your love for your family, and E especially shines through all that you do and you should not worry that you might ‘lose’ followers should you start writing less (or more). Do what is required, be who you are. I have grown fond of you and glean much from your steadfast determination to do the very best you can for those you love. (This ethos carries through to your writing where you, by setting your thoughts to paper, help us all in some form or another.)
Be strong and be patient, Shannon, for you, as Cormac McCarthy said, “..carry the light.”
Love and Peace,
Doug
Dear Doug,
I can’t really begin to articulate how much your comment touched me. It’s almost exactly what my own father would say to me. About reflection and realization in life. About how your perspective changed. Your motives, your priorities. Perhaps because I am roughly the same age as your son, I feel as if my own father has become more like you. The way that he tries to light my path without changing my course.
I thank you for your kind words about my own writing, knowing you are a writer, it is so flattering and your encouragement means the world. At some point I will use your comment if you don’t mind as I find it inspiring for me and others.
Thank you Doug…those are the words that fill my heart. Thank you.
xo
Shannon
I wrote these exact words in my heart yesterday.
After my meltdown, I had a little chat with Overwhelmed Lisha. I made her realize that everything she does comes from a place of Love. And she realized that it’s all worth it.
She feels much better today.
Yes, Lisha. So glad you are feeling better, perhaps we were doing this at the exactly the same time. And you can’t get much more honest than coming from a place of love.
xoxo
Your words echo the various people that I am in contact with….young….old….middle aged…I hear the same emotional burn out and where does time go? I too often say this as to me it feels like the world and our society has hit the warp speed button. When I was little it seemed that time drug on….now I have trouble remembering if it is Monday or Thursday as the days go by so quickly. Of course I thought this was due to me aging but since I hear high school kids saying the same thing about time going too fast and they are not able to keep up…it has to be our ever changing technology or something? We do live a slower paced life where we live and yet it has sped up here in the country as well. I used to see my neighbors and community members years ago as we often had old fashioned get togethers and pot lucks….now none of us have time. When I grew up my parents and I lived on a huge cattle ranch of 25,000 acres in the summer. No electricity or TV or water…we could get Ira Blue at night on the AM radio out of San Francisco I think…not very good….fade in and out. I often went a good week with out seeing anyone but my parents, our horses and lots of cows….boy that was the good old days:) My hubby and I ran a ranch in Central Oregon that was 35 miles from the nearest town…it was nice too….as life was forced to slow down there as well. You struck a cord with me as you see:) Hang in there….I tell myself every day “OK cowgirl, remember one day at a time”….then I try hard to not panic about tomorrow or next week LOL:)
Yes! I do think you nailed it. I think it’s access, we are always expected to be on. Chained to technology. Facebook, smart phones, Twitter, texting, etc…always connected with never a reason to just be. So the days fly and we can’t remember one to the next. I can so relate to the “good old days,” and I too miss them. Thanks for sharing, it makes me smiles and since I know where you are, I love it even more! Don’t panic, and I will try not to as well!
Shannon, I can totally relate. I had to take a step back and remind myself that “it’s okay”. I am still doing it now and I think I am almost there….
Thank you for your honesty!
Cheers,
Louise
Thank you Louise! It’s so nice to know I am not the only one that feels this way. I am glad to hear you are on your way back…and I know it’s a hard decision to make.
I Feel you girl. And I only post a couple times a week. You have way more going on than me. You will still be inspirational if you post a bit less. I love everything you do and look forward to it. You know you gotta take care of you. Xoxo
Oh Katy….i love it when you come by, you always give me a boost! I picture you in the train reading and catching up on stuff. Thanks for your support…it means a lot and you are right, I just need to take the words to heart!
I am glad you are not walking away from mynewfavoriteday. It is important to have an outlet that you enjoy and that helps you creatively and emotionally. Your words help others as well; I don’t often comment but I do read. One foot in front of the other. And remember to stop every now and again to pat yourself on the back for a job well done.
Shannon! Good for you. I think it is better to write one fabulous post a week than many rushed, uninspired pieces. Or walk around feeling cranky. I know you have huge numbers on Facebook. I’m amazed at how much you post on Facebook. I don’t worry about my Facebook presence. At all. My blog is the place where I have real connections with people, and when I post I generally receive 30 or 40 comments. This lets me know that my words are being read.
I don’t get the FB thing. It seems like a lot of effort and for what? Something to think about. Seems like a lot of time devoted to posting (or reposting) pictures.
So, yes. You are competitive. And yes, it will feel like you are doing something wrong by not being so connected. But it is okay to step back and recharge or work on other projects. People won’t unsubscribe if you are silent, but they will if you give them crappy content. Go take care of yourself. 😉
We need to lunch I feel much the same oxox
Surely yes… 🙂