This is what I am asking myself right now? Recently, I have been pushing hard, burning the candle at both ends and in the middle and I am tired. Or maybe it’s burned out. As I headed around the blogosphere the past few days to visit other bloggers who I enjoy reading, many of their posts echo of feeling tired, overwhelmed, burnt out. I guess there is comfort in knowing I am not alone and that became oh so much more clear to me this morning.
As you probably know, for you have seen the buttons that linger at the bottom of blog posts, in this bloggy world there are interesting linkups and opportunities to connect with other bloggers. Some of these are in the form of “Writing Prompts/Workshops” and others are more loose and simply involve linking up a favorite post. It’s a lovely way for people to connect, find new blogs and support one another in the vast every-growing blogosphere. I have just recently started doing this, but it’s a commitment. In order to be a good bloggy citizen you have to go around and comment on others blogs which is great for building camaraderie but a little more challenging when it comes to time. One of the notable Writer’s Workshop/Prompts sites is http://www.mamakatslosinit.com. I hadn’t been over to visit too often, but thought this week I would check it out and low and behold, this was the prompt:
Why are you burned out?
As I think about it…I want to be doing all the things I am doing. I often feel like there not enough hours in the day. The most obvious thing that would have to give up if I have to give up something, is this, writing my blog…but that’s not what “I” want. It’s easy to get caught up in the numbers, the comments, the “all important, yet flawed Klout score,” the growing number of likes and followers and subscribers. It can be humbling, frustrating and very exciting as numbers rise and fall daily. Writing is the something that keeps me up. Keeps me from not getting lost in the sea of emotions that are constantly threatening to crash over me. It gives me the perspective I need to be reminded of the good in all of our many blessings.
‘Mynewfavoriteday’ is not just a community for others, it is my lifeline to remind myself to make each day ‘mynewfavoriteday.’
I am competitive by nature. I crave success. Success by my own standards and success by other people’s standards. It’s an on-going battle for me as I try to find the balance and focus on “what’s important.” But I love it all. I can’t deny. I love the connections, the comments, the ever-growing community of people, trying, just like me to make each day ‘anewfavoriteday.’ I can’t give it up.
But then there is my life, the part that has to always win and there has been a lot of change in our lives as of late.
I am transitioning out of my job to start my own consulting company. I have taken on 2 clients already, still fulfilling my current job requirements, and have more potential clients coming down the pipeline. It’s exciting but unnerving.
I am spending more time with the minis as I am committed to being even more involved in E’s therapies. To become a pseudo, speech, occupational, and physical therapist. E’s future depends on it and doing this is the exact reason why I had to make my career decision, to be home more so I could do more.
KSP has changed jobs as well. He is gone earlier and thus we are going for longer hours. Gone are the days of hanging out in bed with the minis each morning as a family. Now, we hit the ground running in the wee hours.
E has made great progress as of late in her own little ways. We hang on to each stride with bated breath, thrilled and wondering when will the next big thing happen. In its own way, this is the hardest part of them all. This is the part where my whole heart rests. Where each step forward and back means everything for her future. Where my energy comes and retreats at the move of a body part.
Maybe I am not burned out…maybe I am just emotionally tired. Maybe having so much change, so quickly, with so much emotional weight tied in brings a feeling of exhaustion. I have not lost sight of how blessed we are. I have not lost sight of all the wonderful things in our lives. If anything, they are that much more clear to me.
As for this blog, writing this post reminds me that I do “THIS” for me. This blog is my outlet. You will forgive me, I hope, if I am not quite as active in my posting. Perhaps 3-4 days a week instead of 5. I hope you will read as often and still comment, but ultimately I am doing this for me. Not to prove anything, but because I do want to spread the message of ‘mynewfavoriteday,’ but it has to start with me.
Thank you for being here, for allowing me to “be” and for making each day ‘anewfavoriteday.’ Do you ever find yourself wondering why you are doing something? Is it for the “right” reasons. Does it make sense for you, your life?
Written from a prompt at