“Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.” ~ Amanda Cross
Ahhh yes, “the dust of everyday life”..or as I call it “the routine.” There are some things I love about routine…the predictability, the scheduling, planning the knowing what is going to happen, when it’s going to happen, for the most part. However, this practical side of me is also sometimes at war with the romantic side of me. Not the romance novel kind of romance, but everyday romance. Small gestures, sweet kisses, a soft breath as we fall asleep side by side.
Sometimes, routine meets romance in the middle. The early hours of the morning, and I do mean early, like 3:30 am early, when E is crying and KSP gets up to get her and carries her in over his shoulder as she radiates like the sun that she is now with us in her “happier place.”
The moment when he feeds her at 5 am with his hair a mess so I can lay back down, for even a few minutes of extra pretend dozing. The moments of quiet when noone knows I am watching. When KSP plays guitar with the kids while Q bobs his head back and forth, blond curls bouncing, and E scoots closer with her new found mobility extending to touch the guitar that dada is playing.
A different kind of romance.
But, I am a sucker for romance of the movie kind as well. The dinners, the conversation, the wine, the flirting, and the anticipation of what could be. I love that romance too.
Last Saturday in the spirit of romance, KSP and I had a mini date night at home.
We decided to celebrate KSP’s new job, which we are both very excited about. We made dinner, we opened a nice bottle of wine, we turned off the TV. We laughed. We talked of possibilities and future. We decided we would have nice bath.
We lit candles, brought back wine and slid into our new tub. As we talked more, suddenly, 2 white paws perched themselves next to my head.
Then a small gray and white head popped up. Sniffing. Purring. Trying to figure out just how he could get on my shoulder to take a nap. It was our toddler cat, Max.
Until the minis came home, Max was my baby. He slept in my hair, on my head, every night for 3 years. And then his world turned upside down. Our romantic mommy/kitty time had come to an end. Mommy needed to sleep.
Before we knew it, Max was up on the side of the tub, meowing at an illegal decibel when children are sleeping, desperate to get to me.
The laughter that erupted from my heart and soul was anything but romantic. I was laughing, which made me start coughing. Not just coughing, ahem. But coughing like you have some sort of lingering condition, coughing.
At this point Max was practically in the water. Meowing, purring. and head butting the back of my head.
KSP laughed right along with me, and in that moment, there it was “Romance.”
Our romance is slightly different now. Of course, I still love little surprises and flowers and dinners out, but I also love the complete peace that we have. The comfort in knowing that we are together until the end. That we have been through more than I could have ever imagined in our 4 short married years and I could not be more grateful to be there., to be here. To be in a bath, where, in our past lives, it would have been a different kind of romance. But now it was laughter and Max and meowing and sssshhhing and hoping that he didn’t wake our 2 precious angels sleeping next door.
A new kind of romance.
I will always romance “traditional” romance in some ways, but today, in this moment, I love the golden haze of romance that is in my home, with my KSP.
I hope the today, you have some golden haze of romance. And if it’s not being presented to you, why not make it yourself? It’s a lovely added feature and can certainly help make today ‘anewfavoriteday.’
What does romance mean to you? Are you a hopeless romantic? More pragmatic? Does your routine meet your romance in the middle?
This week I am linking up with the wonderful “Lovelinks” Blog. It’s a great place. Thursday there is a vote, but just having the support and introduction to new and interesting writers is good enough for me!
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I was just thinking about some of these thoughts just the other day, actually. 🙂 Great post! Thanks for visiting me on my SITS day! 🙂
Of course! I hope it was an awesome day for you! I am so happy you came by, thank you! I suspect all of us married folk think about this now and then and then we bloggers write about it!:)
I definitely love the ‘practical romance’ of watching Mr. Wonderful do the dishes or letting me sleep that extra hour on weekends.
Not to the exclusion of ‘romantic romance,’ but alongside it. Because the greatest gift I can give my children is a house full of love. Both kinds.
Oh yes! The last line! The greatest gift is a house full of love….I always find muddled wanting to use your quotes:)
I love love. And hollywood romance is overrated. This is the real stuff. A couple that laughs together is about as romantic as it gets. lovely post S.
Thanks so much Katy! I agree…finding it everyday is very special:) thanks for coming by! Xo
I’m a total romantic…although I’m not into flowers anymore. I have 2 kids and a dog to take care of and flowers just adds one more pressure. One more thing to water so to speak. 😉 I LOVE going out for dinner and having a romantic night away. We only get to do this about once a year on our anniversary but it means so much and we always have a wonderful time together. Right now with 2 little ones we take what we can get at home. Great post!
LOL January, I love the enthusiasm. I feel the same way about flowers and then they get that foul smell when you don’t change the water enough! WE too celebrate our anniversary this way which is such a nice evening to reconnect but like you struggle to find the balance so our little homemade versions are perfect for us for now! Thanks for coming by…:)
This is such a beautiful post, Shannon. I’m so happy to hear that you have some joy in your life and can find the beauty even in the small things, which are actually big things too.
I’ve never really had a healthy romantic relationship but I hope to someday. Right now I’m focusing on being good to myself and for now that’s romantic enough 🙂
Happy 2012!
Thanks Alex. Yes, it is lovely to find the joy and I suppose that it’s own form of romance.
It’s so great to focus on you and being healthy and happy with you! As you say it’s its own form or romance which is just perfect.:) Thanks for coming here, it’s nice to see you.
Ah, romance. In our busy lives, it’s easy to put it on the back burner. I confess, that’s what we’ve done. There comes a time when the golden haze of romance, however, must shine through. I like that golden haze. I’m going to reincarnate it. 🙂
I totally hear you…it’s so hard to “make” romance with minis, so little bits here and there are good…and even if you have to fake it till you make it, little bits now and then can work wonders. Good luck with your minis…it’s a lot of work!:) Thanks for coming over!
Oh-so-sweet! I can relate to the kind of new romance you write about. My husband brings home these gorgeous salted caramel macarons on occasion, just to surprise me because he knows I love them. That, to me, is our romance.
First off, Alison, can we please talk about those macaroons…those sounds AMAZING! And yay for your hubby. Yes, a new kind of romance, but just as lovely:) Thanks for coming by:)
This is so true, and so sweet! Romance is definitely what you make it, especially once kids are in the house. Sometimes you just have to be creative 🙂
Totally! Thank you…and once the kiddos are here, the creativity can be fun in and of itself! Thanks for coming by:)
I do believe romance does change as our lives change. As we grow together we learn more and sometimes its those little things- Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, a back rub or waking up early with the kids to let me sleep that make all the difference and make me love him even more!
I totally agree Jackie. Experience and meanings change with growth and change. Thanks so much for coming by and for your thoughtful words.
This is gorgeous!
You said it perfectly.
There is still romance… it’s just different.
Comforting, strong, solid, and there till the end.
Thanks so much Leighann! Just a new kind:) Thanks for coming by! I will be by later to see you too!
I love this story. Ours is more practical. Today I’m crazy about him because he took my car in for service and an executive wash then day three of our big boy at home not feeling well with him
First of all… Congratulations on fitting in the tub with your husband! No way we could. I can imagine though how nice and relaxing that would be. It is funny how things change. And sometimes it is the simple times and time together that is the best. I LOVE the last picture. You can feel the warmth in this story! -LV
LOL, thanks Laverne. We have a big tub! It seems these days the simple times are the best and it’s those times when it’s most warm and cozy in our relationship. I cannot figure out why for the life of me I can’t comment on your blog…it drives me crazy…not in a romantic way:)!
I had forgotten about romance. It’s actually an important aspect of life.
It’s certainly not top of mind in the busyness of life here, but it’s a nice to be reminded now and then:)
Lovely piece, Shannon. Welcome to the Lovelinks crew! 🙂 Yes, romance takes on a whole new meaning once kids enter the picture – it’s a richer picture with far more depth.
Thanks Sue! It does seem that way…much richer, a new kind…and the depth part is spot on for me. After all we have been through, the depth is best part:)
Romance. Hmm. I’ve heard of that, but after almost 15 years of wedded bliss (no, really, THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE. Or they will be when he gets his socks off the coffee table) … sometimes it’s hard to find those moments of remembering–oh, right, you’re that person whose touch used to make me tingle. The tingles are still there, but sometimes they’re hard to find under the grocery lists. Love this story–love that the cat wanted to remind you that it matters too!
LOL, Thanks Deborah…I kind of feel that way a lot of the time…but four years and 20 lightyears later, it can still creep up on me:) Yes, the tingles are an excellent way to describe it…sometimes just dusting them off however you can is a good place to start, even when it’s with the cat!
Coming home from yoga to a clean kitchen and quiet house… yes please. I love talking about love and marriages that work. We need more of it!
Yes…exactly…me too:)
What a GREAT POST! I can totally relate, celebrated our fifth anniv this weekend without our two littles under three. The dog named Steve in our case was the baby, now he is ridden by the baby. I too am appreciating different forms family romance takes. Thank you for the reminder of a date night IN. ONCE in the past few years John & I ate after kidlets went to bed…I made him Rachel Rays’ French Onion Dip pizza and wanted to REALLY enjoy it….it was so romantic and wonderful to eat together without our progeny. Maybe we should do it a bit more often…DUH.
Happy Anniversary Heather! I have always wanted a dog named Steve or Jeff but love human dog names they are the best. That sounds like a perfectly lovely evening and it’s amazing how that can be so challenging to actually do. But little forms of romance can keep the big one alive, right?! Thanks for sharing:)