This will probably not come as a shock to all of you, but I have always loved Thanksgiving. Perhaps, because I really do love this time of year. It’s the first day when I can start to listen to Christmas music in good conscience (without driving everyone crazy:)) and it means I can start preparing for a feast of family, love, fun, that will come over the next several weeks. While I miss my family and friends that live far away, my grandma and grandpa and below 50 degree weather, I still love all things holiday and I definitley don’t mind not freezing while I run around making preparations and I can experience the fake snow at a local outdoor mall, The Grove (so at least there is that:)).
To start, I love to bake and cook and the sense of family and community. I love decorations, and white lights and the smell of pine. I love the adorable baby outfits and the idea of dressing up to celebrate. I love it all…I always have had visions of what Thanksgiving day and this holiday season means. In some ways, while it was all about family, it was still about me, until Q and E came along.
As you also know by now, I go back in time often to revisit the past of two years ago so that I can truly make sense of and appreciate the peace of today. Most times it is not intentional, moments bring themselves forward to remind me, to gently whisper be happy, be joyful, feel the relief, acknowledge the fear and pain and accept that things have moved forward and it is wonderful to look to the future. Because, even with everything going on, I still feel a peace that we are all meant to be together and that I am, and we are, so very very very lucky to be precisely where we are today.
This year, it was a new kind of Thanksgiving. We could be joyful in our own home with wee ones whose physical health was not something we were concerned about and whose health was no longer in jeopardy. In its simplest form, this Thursday was and could be a day of craziness, hilarity, love and thanks.
We should definitely kick this story off with, the next time we decide to host Thanksgiving in our new home (not quite finished) with 2 year old twins, please remind me that I am a little crazy, but that with good preparation it will be all good, except for one unplanned event offering both the funny frustration that you get when you work on something so hard and at the very very last minute something goes wrong and the true realization that you can’t control everything and that it doesn’t really matter. In our case, I had literally been cooking since the day before and had started again at 9 am on Thursday after getting the minis dressed in their adorable outfits and feeding them breakfast. It had been a busy day of cooking, choosing what I must admit was a great outfit, cooking in heels (until about 4 hours in, when I couldn’t take it any more) and entertaining family. My fab outfit did not really make it out from under my apron for the entire day, so this was one of my first lessons it so clearly no longer about me:) and I had to take my heels off because my entire body started to hurt (boo! getting older), and my hair stayed in a pony tail all day so I wouldn’t get hair in the food. It was definitely no longer about me.
I was reminded of this again at 5;45 pm, when it was minutes before we were going to sit down and eat and we had just put E in her highchair at the table and had gone into the kitchen to get the rest of the food. Suddenly there was a crash, thump, shatter…I felt my heart stop, leap, and all my senses ignited waiting for a scream. KSP and I both ran into the dining room to find a huge bowl of cranberry sauce shattered on the floor. Q who was lingering nearby, unscathed, and E with just a few drops of cranberry sauce evidence on her tights, were totally fine. Upon seeing, literally my second most favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner on the floor, made me upset and sad at the same time. As we cleaned up the magenta sauce that also miraculously missed our ivory dining room chairs, I felt myself starting to get upset that all the rest of the dinner was getting cold. I knew even as I was feeling it, it was childish. That cranberry sauce would somehow become important enough to change my mood was ridiculous. but alas, KSP managed to salvage some of the sauce and finally we were ready to eat.
Everyone was in their chairs, we opened a nice bottle of wine, and looked around the table. It was not about me at all. With KSP’s mom across from me, KSP by my side and Q and E sitting happily in their chairs ready to eat their first real Thanksgiving meal, my heart filled with joy. Pure joy. As we went around the table to say what we were thankful for, it was clear that Q and E had changed all of our lives and all of our relationships with one another. Their love and our ability to be ever so grateful for them, changed all of us. To see this video is exactly why I am thankful. To say with out words just how much I appreciate it these moments…I hope you will feel with your heart just an inkling of what I feel when I am with my minis…
Although we say it all the time, Thanksgiving and this entire season is not about the food, or the outfits, or the parties or places, it really is just about being together. About love, and joy and gratitude. As the coming weeks ramp up and everyone celebrates their various holidays, it is lovely to have fun doing all the things that we all do, but whether we are family, friends, or strangers, this season is about people. About appreciation. It’s a wonderful opportunity to be a little more kind, a little more patient, a little more forgiving, a little more understanding, and a little more happy. I wish you all of these things so that each day you might see, smell, touch, remember, taste, or hear something that gives you ‘yournewfavoriteday.’
Do you find that you too are little more joyous during this season?