“Sometimes the dreams that come true are the dreams you never even knew you had.”
― Alice Sebold
It’s been 5 weeks since I sat, enormously pregnant, on my oversized brown leather chair in our family room and typed my last post on Sunday night July 20th.
It was 5 weeks ago that night that I first truly acknowledged and said I was excited about the future. 5 weeks since I had made it to place where I was no longer fearful about what life would be like when baby M arrived and no longer fearful that putting my words out there would bring my worst fears of not making it to term.
5 weeks ago today, in a scheduled 3:36 am post, I put my happiness and excitement out into the universe in writing and in my own words.
And, it was 5 weeks ago today at 3:30 am I had my first contraction, went into labor and Baby M arrived into the world, into our family, and into my heart and soul.
5 weeks ago today, my heart healed. As a reader, Heather, so aptly put it, Baby M was the tonic that seeped into the cracks of my heart I thought were beyond repair. Cracks that I thought were scars and would never heal, but now they are lighter. They are quiet. They are no longer so raw.
The past 10 months have changed my life in a way I never knew I dreamed. Laughter and tears, and laughter about my tears have been a constant. I have struggled with my own emotions in a way that was completely foreign to me. Joy, fear, guilt, anxiety, frustration, happiness….over and over again, wave after wave and in no particular order these feelings would rush through my body as if being carried like a drug through my bloodstream. I could feel them all over my pregnant body.
And then in a moment that will forever be marked on my memory, it all went a way and I only felt peace. As I reached out my arms at exactly 7 pm on 7/22 and pulled my new baby girl onto my chest, a true peace settled over me. A peace I knew would now last. A peace that would be my new baseline. Another moment to grab onto and forever seal with all the other moments of Q and E that have become the dreams I never knew I had.
There are so many posts to follow this one, the funny things that happened, the other happiness and challenges that have come with our new life, but today is about my unknown dream, baby M. Today is about our own little Princess, who, while the world watched Prince George come into the world on July 22 and I am sure was bringing his own sense of healing, our precious Baby M was joining us to heal this mama’s heart. Setting a new course for each day to truly be ‘mynewfavoriteday.’
I am so proud and happy to introduce you all to precious Baby M. and hope that some of my joy, my faith in everything happens for a reason, and my peace finds its way to you to make today ‘yournewfavoriteday.’